too bad you live with your parents still
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
