he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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