Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
