if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
