I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize