What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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