it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
