is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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