White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
