Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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