At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize