My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
