Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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