sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
