No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
