The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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