you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
