My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Boobs are out for the taking
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
