Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
