You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
no you cant smoke seaweed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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