Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize