Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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