i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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