I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
