Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
