I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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