dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize