i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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