Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
