Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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