I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he thought i was a dude.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize