I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
