capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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