I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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