Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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