I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
