Don't you send me to vm
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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