it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
