her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
