honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
