I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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