I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize