Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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