I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
