Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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