if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize