I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
