If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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