How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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