Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
