just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
