worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
