I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
