Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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