You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
