She's JV to your varsity
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
COCAINE IS GR8
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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