so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
